Feeling Lonely and Alone

It feels terribly lonely to be borderline. I am living in a castle, with very thick defense walls and a very tightly closed draw-bridge and door. Outside is a crowd, they are having a party. But I can't hear what it's about and I can't join them, although part of me wants to. So I stand at the window and look outside and I don't understand what they are doing. Also I feel like they look at me all the time and laugh at me for not understanding and not belonging. I don't know what I have to do to belong and to understand. The castle is empty. I'm the only thing in it. Not only the only living thing, but really the only thing: the castle is completely empty. There is no furniture, no wallpaper, no carpets. The wooden floors are bare, the closets are empty and the doors are standing ajar. The castle is huge, with many floors and every floor has many rooms and everything is empty. Try imagining living like this and you can just for a little bit understand how we feel.