Feeling Fragmented, Guilty, Angry

Usually when I get angry (and usually only at my husband) at first I feel justified. But shortly afterwards, anger usually causes me to feel fragmented, question everything, question what is real, who am I etc. Then I usually feel a lot of guilt, fear, and self-hate and crazy. Over the years, I think I am finally seeing that the aftermath is worse then the release, and I tend to not act out my anger so much. Sometimes I don't know if what I got mad at is some projection or something justified. There is a kind of anger that I hate in my self. Sometimes I suddenly get filled with so much anger and disgust with husband (although this has always happened with all significant others.) I get torn over feeling full of hate for the person and feeling so very screwed up for feeling these feelings."