Help for Families
Step 1: How to Cope: Take good care of yourself
Step 1 (Powertool 1) in the Beyond Blame System is the foundation for everything else you will do to better manage your relationship with your loved one. You can't help others cope when you're too tired, distracted, or angry. You can't help family member raise their self-esteem if yours is lodged 20 feet underground. In this step, you'll learn how to handle emotions like depression, worry, guilt, shame, and solve physical issues like difficulty sleeping, headaches, and stomach problems.
I strongly suggest seeing a therapist of your own. Because therapists are not emotionally connected to your family member, they see your situation in an unbiased and nonjudgmental light. In addition to listening and validating your feelings, they can guide you in spotting your family member's distortions and help you become aware of your role in the relationship. They offer practical help, too, such as suggesting different courses of action or helping you practice new communication skills.