About Randi

Randi Kreger has brought the concerns of people who have a family member with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to an international forefront through her best-selling books, informative website, and popular online family support community Welcome to Oz.

 
 

Would You Give Up Custody or Lose Everything?


There are three little girls I always think about when I consider whether I made the right choice to write about borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. 

 

It might have been much better for me personally not to keep reliving an emotionally abusive childhood with a borderline mother and a narcissistic father.

About two years after writing the Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, a man called me at home to ask for my help in making a decision. 

I don't answer those kinds of questions. It's unethical, unwise, and a losing proposition. 

 

But somehow he asked his question before I could put him off. It didn't take long to ask. 

 

He said, "My  wife gave me a choice. Either I can keep the money and house and she gets custody of our three girls, or she gets the girls and I get the money and the house. Which do I choose?"

I was thinking about what to say when I started tearing up. Of course it made me think about my own borderline mother, and how my father abandoned me. I couldn't speak. 

He waited. 

 

I tried to say something, and to my embarassment, all that came out were choking sounds. He could tell I was crying. 

"I think I know what to do," he said. 

A couple years later, he called me and thanked me. He sounded very happy.

He had picked the kids. 

 

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    Helping Your Borderline Son or Daughter Without Sacrificing Your Family or Yourself